1. Master Your Universe

1. Master Your Universe
Where are you right now? Is this the best place for you? Your universe is your context and you choose that context.

How do you see yourself? What do you like about yourself? What don’t you like? Who are you from the inside out? Your opinion of yourself is a crucial and must reflect both reality and your inventiveness.

Two brothers grew up in an abusive home. One became an ax murderer and the other became a Nobel Prize Laureate. When asked why they turned out the way they did, both replied identically, “Given my abusive childhood, how could I have become anything else?” It isn’t only what happens to you that matters, but how you perceive what happens to you is more important. Just because something doesn’t feel good to you doesn’t mean it is not good for you.

The number one condition for success in life is the ability to create and leverage successful relationships.

Three perspectives to help you clearly understand where you are right now: 1. How do you see yourself? 2. How do others see you? 3. How would you like to be seen? These three questions lead to the strategy question, “So what do I do now?”

We need to be aware of the web relationships around us, the agendas, needs, and motives of those around us, in order to respond properly. Instead of suppressing the frustrations caused by relationship, leading to an inevitable blowup or poor decision, you must learn to constantly deal with your relationships.

First, assess your environment. Step back and take a broader look at the whole picture. Break down your environment into its specific aspects and then deal with each part in turn. Identify the players and how each person can help you or hinder you. You can’t carry out your Prime Objective plan all by yourself; without the help of others you will fail.

To build and maintain a rock-solid network you must: 1. Identify what’s in it for the other person and what he has to lose. 2. Recognize the beliefs, thinking style and personality of the other person. 3. Genuinely care for the other person and show it. People will not help you unless they can see what’s in it for them. Get clear and specific what is clear to the other person. Help the other person without expecting to receive anything in return. Discover other people’s prime objective, needs, and their secret vanity.

Help other people manage the change you are creating. Beware of people who demand that you stay the same in order to keep the relationship. Just because something is self-evident to you, it isn’t obvious to other people, so explain everything to other people. Discover how they learn and make decisions so you can help them adjust to the change.

Show regard; get interested in people for their own sake. The more you are interested in other people without trying to get something in return, the more they will be interested in helping you. Be genuinely curious about other people; learn something new every time you meet them. Listen more than you talk. If you try to exert authority without having significant buy-in, you will be resisted.

Understand how all the people in your personal network can help you achieve your Prime Objective.