Commitment

Dennis Okholm, reviewing Kathleen Noris' book, Acedia & Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer's Life, writes,

In a society where acedia results in relationships that are recycled more often than aluminum cans, Norris insists that what is most likely to maintain a marriage is not giddy romance but discipline, martyrdom, and obedience (which, at its etymological root, refers to hearing): "The very nature of marriage means saying yes before you know what it will cost. You may say the 'I do' of the wedding ritual in all sincerity, but it is the testing of that vow over time that makes you married." Good advice in a culture where that "five-o'clock somewhere" mirage always beckons.


Books & Culture, September/October 2008, Vol. 14, No. 5, Page 10.

Today Matters, Decision #6: COMMITMENT

6. Decision #6: COMMITMENT: “Today’s commitment gives me tenacity”
Make and keep proper commitments daily.

What is your purpose? Your destiny? Will you fulfill it? It takes tenacity and that takes commitment.

Your commitment will be tested every day. It is not an event but a daily process.
Failure is the greatest challenge to commitment. You have to be able to pick yourself up and make it through the failures.
You have to be able to stand alone. People will distract you, challenge you, get you to compromise your values.
You have to be able to face deep disappointment. How you react to disappointment is important. Harry Callas introduced Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Gary Maddux by saying, “Gary has turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now his is miserable and depressed.”

“If something is worth doing I will commit myself to carrying it through.”

Embrace commitment wholeheartedly:
1. Count the cost. [Churchill: “…this was their finest hour.”]
Naïve commitments are difficult to stand by, so know exactly what you’re getting into before making a commitment.
2. Pay the price.
3. Always strive for excellence. Be a great craftsman. Do your best in everything in every way.
4. Live out this discipline; renew your commitment each day by reminding yourself of all the benefits you will receive from keeping the commitment. Make a card to carry around with you.

Practical steps
1. Expect commitment to be a struggle. Look at famous men and women who sacrificed to keep their commitments.
2. Focus on choices not conditions. Focus on the internal not the external. Conditions are transitory and focusing on them will produce a wavering commitment while internal values are constant and will produce tenacity and steadiness.
Crossroad: a decision must be made, it will cost you something, it will affect others.
3. Do what is right even when you don’t feel like it. All great athletes understand this truth. “I have prepared, I will follow the rules, I will not quit.” Commitment touches every area of life.

Today Matters

I highly recommend reading John Maxwell's book, Today Matters. He has put some very important truths into simple language that are foundational for a successful life. The following posts will be my outline of his book.

Misconceptions about Success
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)
What does a good day look like? How do you create one?
What you do today impacts what happens tomorrow
1) Impossible: Criticize it
Life is difficult. If you think it should be easy, then you will give up easily when you face difficulty. If it’s not easy we think its impossible
2) Mystical: Search for it
A big mystery. Silver bullet, magic formula, quick fix
You can’t win with a quick fix
3) Luck: Hope for it
Explain away success. 50 million to one you will become successful by luck
4) Productivity: Work for it
Hard work is not success. Need more.
5) Opportunity: Wait for it
Need a break. If only…. Won’t be ready if it does appear.
When opportunity comes it’s too late to prepare
If you aren’t ready even an opportunity wouldn’t change your life much
6) Connections: Network for it
Meet right person. But won’t guarantee success
7) Recognition: Strive for it
Often ends in disillusionment
8) Event: Schedule it
Events are helpful but have limited impact.
Inspiration, motivation, tools and knowledge, but success is a process
Three year strategy, many tools and resources
Success comes when you make decisions and follow through on them

Key: Success is determined by your daily agenda.
You will never change your life until you change something that you do daily.
Every day is preparation for the next. What you become is the result of what you do today.
John Wooden: Make each day your masterpiece. Improve on something each day.
Become a little better each and every day, and over time you will become a lot better.
How? Decisions and Discipline. Two sides of the same coin. One is worthless without the other.
Decision without Discipline: A Plan without a Payoff
Discipline without Decision: Regimentation without reward
Decision with Discipline: Masterpiece of potential
12 Critical Decisions
Do what unsuccessful people don’t like to do.
Two kinds of pain: self-discipline and regret.
Avoiding the pain of self-discipline is easy. But the pain of self-discipline is temporary while the pain of regret is life-long.
Exercise: 30 minutes makes you feel good for 3 hours, and it also helps you in the long run.

Getting started:
1) Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi). Become a model of change. You have to become something if you are to have something to share.
2) Start small. Small successes give you confidence. Prioritize. Don’t have to know all the steps to get started.
3) Get started early. Be proactive. Start early and you will have more options later on. Compounding effect on your life.