12. Decision #12: GROWTH: “Today’s growth gives me potential”
Seek and experience improvements daily.
Become what you are capable of becoming.
Growth is not automatic. Take responsibility for your growth or it won’t happen.
Growth doesn’t come simply by gaining knowledge. Knowledge must be used to be of value.
Growth doesn’t come with experience. Reflection on experience is essential.
Importance of growth:
1. Gifting without growth leads to ineffectiveness. Build on your talent. If you merely draw on your talent without growing you will run out of resources.
2. It prevents personal and professional stagnation. Don’t make external changes but pursue internal changes.
3. Your personal growth impacts your organization’s growth. If you want to grow the organization you must first grow the leader. In order to DO more I’ve got to BE more.
4. Only through continuous improvement can you reach your full potential.
Tartar tribe curse: “May you stay in one place forever.”
Practical steps:
1. Make a commitment to maximize your potential. “What is my potential?” Boy with only one hand, “I don’t have a handicap, I only have one hand.”
2. Make a commitment to change. Can’t expect things to stay the same and become better at the same time. “The only thrill worthwhile is the thrill of making something of yourself.”
3. Set growth goals. Set goals in specific areas of your strengths: communication, leadership, etc. Areas that will add value to yourself personally and professionally.
4. Put yourself in a growth environment. We will grow to the size of our environment. We will expand to reach our potential.
Every day I will grow on purpose with my plan. Continually tailor your growth plan to your changing situation.
Make it your goal to improve in some way every day. Break large goals down into small achievable goals.
Showing posts with label Today Matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Today Matters. Show all posts
Monday, February 5, 2007
Today Matters, Decision #11: VALUES
11. Decision #11: VALUES: “Today’s values give me direction”
Embrace and practice good values daily.
David Wexell (Enron) and Martha Stewart
Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, Catholic Church’s cover up of Priests’ molestations.
Behind every life are the principles that have fashioned it. Those principles that guide your life are your values. A person’s core values are nothing more than principles that he or she has internalized.
Core values are critical to success:
1. People without values are adrift on the ocean of life. No place rest, get swamped by the waves, pushed in every direction by the currents. But values give you stability even when life is turbulent.
2. They are like a faithful friend. They authentically describe your soul and become a companion to you throughout your life.
3. They are like a North Star that enables you to steer your life by them.
Your values enable you to fulfill your purpose in life: Family, Work, Self
Spiritual Leadership, J. Oswald Sanders.
I will lead others based on the values I have embraced.
Be God’s man, develop my potential to the best of my ability, be a true spiritual leader.
“You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.” Comedian Fred Alan.
Know your values and live by them every day.
1. Articulate and embrace your values daily.
Your values will be tested daily so be ready to stand firm. Review and reflect on your values every day. Put them in concrete form: write them down and look at them daily. Talk about them.
2. Compare your values to your practice daily. Evaluate and improve daily. Don’t lose your integrity; practice what you say you value. Discrepancies between values and practice creates chaos in your life.
Embrace and practice good values daily.
David Wexell (Enron) and Martha Stewart
Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, Catholic Church’s cover up of Priests’ molestations.
Behind every life are the principles that have fashioned it. Those principles that guide your life are your values. A person’s core values are nothing more than principles that he or she has internalized.
Core values are critical to success:
1. People without values are adrift on the ocean of life. No place rest, get swamped by the waves, pushed in every direction by the currents. But values give you stability even when life is turbulent.
2. They are like a faithful friend. They authentically describe your soul and become a companion to you throughout your life.
3. They are like a North Star that enables you to steer your life by them.
Your values enable you to fulfill your purpose in life: Family, Work, Self
Spiritual Leadership, J. Oswald Sanders.
I will lead others based on the values I have embraced.
Be God’s man, develop my potential to the best of my ability, be a true spiritual leader.
“You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.” Comedian Fred Alan.
Know your values and live by them every day.
1. Articulate and embrace your values daily.
Your values will be tested daily so be ready to stand firm. Review and reflect on your values every day. Put them in concrete form: write them down and look at them daily. Talk about them.
2. Compare your values to your practice daily. Evaluate and improve daily. Don’t lose your integrity; practice what you say you value. Discrepancies between values and practice creates chaos in your life.
Today Matters, Decision #10: GENEROSITY
10. Decision #10: GENEROSITY: “Today’s generosity gives me significance”
Plan for and model generosity daily.
Why be generous:
1. Giving turns your focus outwards.
2. Giving adds value to others. Greatness: Not how many people who serve you but how many people you serve.
3. Giving helps the giver. It gives you meaning, purpose and joy.
“I will live to give.” Greatness is defined by what you give, not what you receive.
1. Give others your money. How you handle money colors every area of your life. Your heart and attention is where your money is.
2. Give people your self. Undivided attention is more valuable than money. Mentoring is more valuable than money.
Remind yourself every day to add value to others.
1. Value people: treat everyone with respect.
2. Know what people value: listen and seek to understand others.
3. Make myself more valuable: grow in order to be able to give. (You can’t give what you don’t have.)
4. Do things that God values: love others unconditionally.
What you do for others and the world last for eternity.
Plan for and model generosity daily.
Why be generous:
1. Giving turns your focus outwards.
2. Giving adds value to others. Greatness: Not how many people who serve you but how many people you serve.
3. Giving helps the giver. It gives you meaning, purpose and joy.
“I will live to give.” Greatness is defined by what you give, not what you receive.
1. Give others your money. How you handle money colors every area of your life. Your heart and attention is where your money is.
2. Give people your self. Undivided attention is more valuable than money. Mentoring is more valuable than money.
Remind yourself every day to add value to others.
1. Value people: treat everyone with respect.
2. Know what people value: listen and seek to understand others.
3. Make myself more valuable: grow in order to be able to give. (You can’t give what you don’t have.)
4. Do things that God values: love others unconditionally.
What you do for others and the world last for eternity.
Today Matters, Decision #9: RELATIONSHIPS
9. Decision #9: RELATIONSHIPS: “Today’s relationships give me fulfillment”
Initiate and invest in solid relationships daily.
The most important experiences in life are connected to other people. Invest in solid relationships and you will enjoy life more. Those who love life and others have a lot of fun. If you like people, then you will always have a friend no matter where you go.
You will get farther in life if people like you. Someone else must like you if you are to succeed in life. People are an organization’s most important asset.
Jim Collins, From Good to Great, “Get the right people on the bus.”
Dale Carnegie: In order to have friends, be friendly.
“I will initiate and make an investment in relationships with others.”
Change your mindset:
1. Place a high value on people. “You can’t make someone feel important in your presence if you secretly feel he is a nobody.” Les Giblin.
2. Expect the best from everyone. Assume people’s motives are good unless they prove otherwise. Value people by their best moments. Give them your friendship rather than asking for theirs.
3. Learn to understand people.
1) People are insecure; give them confidence.
2) People want to feel special; sincerely compliment them.
3) People desire a better tomorrow; show them hope.
4) People are selfish; speak to their needs first.
5) People get emotionally low; encourage them.
6) People want to be associated with success; help them win.
How to keep on track: Every day I make the conscious effort to deposit good will into my relationships with others.
1. Put others first. Practice the Golden Rule.
2. Don’t carry emotional baggage. Get rid of old wrongs and hurts.
3. Give time to your most valuable relationships. Don’t let unimportant relationships drain all of your time and energy. Set priorities.
“If you have one true friend in life you are very fortunate indeed.”
Initiate and invest in solid relationships daily.
The most important experiences in life are connected to other people. Invest in solid relationships and you will enjoy life more. Those who love life and others have a lot of fun. If you like people, then you will always have a friend no matter where you go.
You will get farther in life if people like you. Someone else must like you if you are to succeed in life. People are an organization’s most important asset.
Jim Collins, From Good to Great, “Get the right people on the bus.”
Dale Carnegie: In order to have friends, be friendly.
“I will initiate and make an investment in relationships with others.”
Change your mindset:
1. Place a high value on people. “You can’t make someone feel important in your presence if you secretly feel he is a nobody.” Les Giblin.
2. Expect the best from everyone. Assume people’s motives are good unless they prove otherwise. Value people by their best moments. Give them your friendship rather than asking for theirs.
3. Learn to understand people.
1) People are insecure; give them confidence.
2) People want to feel special; sincerely compliment them.
3) People desire a better tomorrow; show them hope.
4) People are selfish; speak to their needs first.
5) People get emotionally low; encourage them.
6) People want to be associated with success; help them win.
How to keep on track: Every day I make the conscious effort to deposit good will into my relationships with others.
1. Put others first. Practice the Golden Rule.
2. Don’t carry emotional baggage. Get rid of old wrongs and hurts.
3. Give time to your most valuable relationships. Don’t let unimportant relationships drain all of your time and energy. Set priorities.
“If you have one true friend in life you are very fortunate indeed.”
Today Matters, Decision #8: FAITH
8. Decision #8: FAITH: “Today’s faith gives me peace”
Deepen and live out my faith daily.
Benefits of faith:
1. Gives me a divine perspective today. Philip Yancey : “Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
2. Gives me health today. Faith adds meaning, perspective, positive social networks that benefit my physical and emotional health.
3. Gives me strength today. Faith helps overcome adversity. “Faith draws the poison from every grief, takes the sting from every loss, quenches the fire of every loss. Faith gives a person power.”
Important things to consider:
1. We already have faith. The important thing to consider is where we place it. “You go to a doctor whose name you cannot pronounce who gives you a prescription you cannot read that you take to a pharmacist you have never seen, and yet you take it.”
2. Your goal should be to align your beliefs with the truth. Seek the truth and you will find it.
3. A faith that has not been tested cannot be trusted. Viktor Frankl: “A weak faith is weakened by predicaments and catastrophes, whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.”
How to live out the disciplines of faith: “Every day I will seek to live and lead like Jesus.”
1. Embrace the value of faith.
2. Put God in the picture. Let God into your life. “Unbelief puts our circumstances between us and God, while faith puts God between us and our circumstances.”
3. Explore and deepen your faith. D.L. Moody: Faith did not seem to come when I kept praying for it. When I began to study the Bible, my faith has grown and increased.
Story of Rick Husband, Shuttle pilot who died in when the Columbia burned up on reentry. Wife was able to face the grief because of her faith and the support of the faith fo the other widows. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Deepen and live out my faith daily.
Benefits of faith:
1. Gives me a divine perspective today. Philip Yancey : “Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
2. Gives me health today. Faith adds meaning, perspective, positive social networks that benefit my physical and emotional health.
3. Gives me strength today. Faith helps overcome adversity. “Faith draws the poison from every grief, takes the sting from every loss, quenches the fire of every loss. Faith gives a person power.”
Important things to consider:
1. We already have faith. The important thing to consider is where we place it. “You go to a doctor whose name you cannot pronounce who gives you a prescription you cannot read that you take to a pharmacist you have never seen, and yet you take it.”
2. Your goal should be to align your beliefs with the truth. Seek the truth and you will find it.
3. A faith that has not been tested cannot be trusted. Viktor Frankl: “A weak faith is weakened by predicaments and catastrophes, whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them.”
How to live out the disciplines of faith: “Every day I will seek to live and lead like Jesus.”
1. Embrace the value of faith.
2. Put God in the picture. Let God into your life. “Unbelief puts our circumstances between us and God, while faith puts God between us and our circumstances.”
3. Explore and deepen your faith. D.L. Moody: Faith did not seem to come when I kept praying for it. When I began to study the Bible, my faith has grown and increased.
Story of Rick Husband, Shuttle pilot who died in when the Columbia burned up on reentry. Wife was able to face the grief because of her faith and the support of the faith fo the other widows. Proverbs 3:5-6.
Today Matters, Decision #7: FINANCES
7. Decision #7: FINANCES: “Today’s finances give me options”
Make and properly manage money daily.
O. Donald Olson: “The average American today is spending money he doesn’t have to buy things he doesn’t need to impress people he doesn’t like.”
Finances touch every area of our lives and causes a lot of problems if not handled properly on a daily basis.
Three simple truths:
1. Money won’t make you happy. Henry Ford: “Money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish or arrogant, money brings it out, that’s all. You are what you are no matter how much or little you have.”
2. Debt will make you unhappy.
3. Having a financial margin gives you options. Money is only a tool for achieving your goals. Getting money for its own sake is ultimately hollow.
“We will sacrifice today so we can have options today.”
10% to God, 10% to savings, 80% to living expenses.
Practice the following:
1. Put the value of things into perspective. Ask:
1) Am I occupied with things?
2) Am I envious of others?
3) Do I find my personal value in possessions?
4) Do I think that money will make me happy?
5) Do I continually want more?
Materialism is a mindset; its not about possessions but obsessions.
2. Recognize your season in life.
Ideal: Learning to Earning to Returning.
3. Reduce your debt. Dept is one of the leading causes of divorce, lack of sleep and poor work performance. Leads to depression. Robs you of your self-worth and from fulfilling your goals. Get out of debt:
1) Stop incurring debt.
2) Track your cash (spending)
3) Plan for the future.
4) Don’t expect instant miracles.
5) Seek professional help.
Don’t let your possessions possess you.
Steps to building a right daily attitude:
1. Become a good earner. You need something to manage. Maximize your earning potential.
2. Be grateful every day. Rudyard Kipling: “Don’t pay too much attention to fame, power or money. Some day you will meet someone who cares nothing for these things and you will realize how poor you really are.”
3. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Make and properly manage money daily.
O. Donald Olson: “The average American today is spending money he doesn’t have to buy things he doesn’t need to impress people he doesn’t like.”
Finances touch every area of our lives and causes a lot of problems if not handled properly on a daily basis.
Three simple truths:
1. Money won’t make you happy. Henry Ford: “Money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them. If a man is naturally selfish or arrogant, money brings it out, that’s all. You are what you are no matter how much or little you have.”
2. Debt will make you unhappy.
3. Having a financial margin gives you options. Money is only a tool for achieving your goals. Getting money for its own sake is ultimately hollow.
“We will sacrifice today so we can have options today.”
10% to God, 10% to savings, 80% to living expenses.
Practice the following:
1. Put the value of things into perspective. Ask:
1) Am I occupied with things?
2) Am I envious of others?
3) Do I find my personal value in possessions?
4) Do I think that money will make me happy?
5) Do I continually want more?
Materialism is a mindset; its not about possessions but obsessions.
2. Recognize your season in life.
Ideal: Learning to Earning to Returning.
3. Reduce your debt. Dept is one of the leading causes of divorce, lack of sleep and poor work performance. Leads to depression. Robs you of your self-worth and from fulfilling your goals. Get out of debt:
1) Stop incurring debt.
2) Track your cash (spending)
3) Plan for the future.
4) Don’t expect instant miracles.
5) Seek professional help.
Don’t let your possessions possess you.
Steps to building a right daily attitude:
1. Become a good earner. You need something to manage. Maximize your earning potential.
2. Be grateful every day. Rudyard Kipling: “Don’t pay too much attention to fame, power or money. Some day you will meet someone who cares nothing for these things and you will realize how poor you really are.”
3. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Today Matters, Decision #6: COMMITMENT
6. Decision #6: COMMITMENT: “Today’s commitment gives me tenacity”
Make and keep proper commitments daily.
What is your purpose? Your destiny? Will you fulfill it? It takes tenacity and that takes commitment.
Your commitment will be tested every day. It is not an event but a daily process.
Failure is the greatest challenge to commitment. You have to be able to pick yourself up and make it through the failures.
You have to be able to stand alone. People will distract you, challenge you, get you to compromise your values.
You have to be able to face deep disappointment. How you react to disappointment is important. Harry Callas introduced Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Gary Maddux by saying, “Gary has turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now his is miserable and depressed.”
“If something is worth doing I will commit myself to carrying it through.”
Embrace commitment wholeheartedly:
1. Count the cost. [Churchill: “…this was their finest hour.”]
Naïve commitments are difficult to stand by, so know exactly what you’re getting into before making a commitment.
2. Pay the price.
3. Always strive for excellence. Be a great craftsman. Do your best in everything in every way.
4. Live out this discipline; renew your commitment each day by reminding yourself of all the benefits you will receive from keeping the commitment. Make a card to carry around with you.
Practical steps
1. Expect commitment to be a struggle. Look at famous men and women who sacrificed to keep their commitments.
2. Focus on choices not conditions. Focus on the internal not the external. Conditions are transitory and focusing on them will produce a wavering commitment while internal values are constant and will produce tenacity and steadiness.
Crossroad: a decision must be made, it will cost you something, it will affect others.
3. Do what is right even when you don’t feel like it. All great athletes understand this truth. “I have prepared, I will follow the rules, I will not quit.” Commitment touches every area of life.
Make and keep proper commitments daily.
What is your purpose? Your destiny? Will you fulfill it? It takes tenacity and that takes commitment.
Your commitment will be tested every day. It is not an event but a daily process.
Failure is the greatest challenge to commitment. You have to be able to pick yourself up and make it through the failures.
You have to be able to stand alone. People will distract you, challenge you, get you to compromise your values.
You have to be able to face deep disappointment. How you react to disappointment is important. Harry Callas introduced Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Gary Maddux by saying, “Gary has turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now his is miserable and depressed.”
“If something is worth doing I will commit myself to carrying it through.”
Embrace commitment wholeheartedly:
1. Count the cost. [Churchill: “…this was their finest hour.”]
Naïve commitments are difficult to stand by, so know exactly what you’re getting into before making a commitment.
2. Pay the price.
3. Always strive for excellence. Be a great craftsman. Do your best in everything in every way.
4. Live out this discipline; renew your commitment each day by reminding yourself of all the benefits you will receive from keeping the commitment. Make a card to carry around with you.
Practical steps
1. Expect commitment to be a struggle. Look at famous men and women who sacrificed to keep their commitments.
2. Focus on choices not conditions. Focus on the internal not the external. Conditions are transitory and focusing on them will produce a wavering commitment while internal values are constant and will produce tenacity and steadiness.
Crossroad: a decision must be made, it will cost you something, it will affect others.
3. Do what is right even when you don’t feel like it. All great athletes understand this truth. “I have prepared, I will follow the rules, I will not quit.” Commitment touches every area of life.
Today Matters, Decision #5 THINKING
5. Decision #5 THINKING: “Today’s thinking gives me an advantage”
Practice and develop good thinking daily.
Thought is the source of all achievement. Make thinking a daily activity:
1. Good thinking increases your value. The person with the ideas has the greatest value in any organization. Ideas in business are more important than capital and experience. Ideas are the ideas for everything we build or do. If you are a good thinker you are extremely valuable.
2. Poor thinkers are a slave to their surroundings and circumstances and are often unable to solve their problems. They find themselves facing the same problems over and over again. Because they don’t think ahead they are always in reaction mode. “Better an empty purse than an empty head.”
“I will think about things that will add value to myself and others.”
How to add thinking to your daily life:
1. Recognize that there are many kinds of thinking. 11 different thinking skills:
1) Big picture thinking. A holistic perspective.
2) Focus thinking. Remove distractions and clutter from your mind so you can focus.
3) Creative thinking. Break out of your box and experience a breakthrough.
4) Realistic thinking. Build a solid foundation on facts to think with certainty.
5) Strategic thinking. Implement plans to give direction for today and potential tomorrow.
6) Possibility thinking. Unleash your enthusiasm to find solutions to seemingly impossible situations.
7) Reflective thinking. Revisit the past to gain perspective and think with understanding.
8) Questioning popular thinking. Reject the limitations of common thinking to accomplish uncommon results.
9) Shared thinking. Using the thinking of others to think beyond your own ability for compounding results.
10) Unselfish thinking. Think about others and their journey in order to think with collaboration.
11) Bottom line thinking. Focus on results and maximum return to reap the full potential of your thinking.
Don’t try to master all of the types of thinking. Focus on improving your strengths and not your weaknesses. Gather people around you who are strong in your weak areas and strive to become first class in your areas of strength; then you will be valuable and have a unique contribution.
Take responsibility for your own thinking because others will have their own agenda.
How to develop your ability to think:
1. Find a place to think.
2. Set aside “think time” every day.
3. Capture your thoughts by writing them down.
Try to improve your thinking every day.
1. Focus on the positive.
2. Gather good input; collect good ideas.
3. Spend time with good thinkers.
Practice and develop good thinking daily.
Thought is the source of all achievement. Make thinking a daily activity:
1. Good thinking increases your value. The person with the ideas has the greatest value in any organization. Ideas in business are more important than capital and experience. Ideas are the ideas for everything we build or do. If you are a good thinker you are extremely valuable.
2. Poor thinkers are a slave to their surroundings and circumstances and are often unable to solve their problems. They find themselves facing the same problems over and over again. Because they don’t think ahead they are always in reaction mode. “Better an empty purse than an empty head.”
“I will think about things that will add value to myself and others.”
How to add thinking to your daily life:
1. Recognize that there are many kinds of thinking. 11 different thinking skills:
1) Big picture thinking. A holistic perspective.
2) Focus thinking. Remove distractions and clutter from your mind so you can focus.
3) Creative thinking. Break out of your box and experience a breakthrough.
4) Realistic thinking. Build a solid foundation on facts to think with certainty.
5) Strategic thinking. Implement plans to give direction for today and potential tomorrow.
6) Possibility thinking. Unleash your enthusiasm to find solutions to seemingly impossible situations.
7) Reflective thinking. Revisit the past to gain perspective and think with understanding.
8) Questioning popular thinking. Reject the limitations of common thinking to accomplish uncommon results.
9) Shared thinking. Using the thinking of others to think beyond your own ability for compounding results.
10) Unselfish thinking. Think about others and their journey in order to think with collaboration.
11) Bottom line thinking. Focus on results and maximum return to reap the full potential of your thinking.
Don’t try to master all of the types of thinking. Focus on improving your strengths and not your weaknesses. Gather people around you who are strong in your weak areas and strive to become first class in your areas of strength; then you will be valuable and have a unique contribution.
Take responsibility for your own thinking because others will have their own agenda.
How to develop your ability to think:
1. Find a place to think.
2. Set aside “think time” every day.
3. Capture your thoughts by writing them down.
Try to improve your thinking every day.
1. Focus on the positive.
2. Gather good input; collect good ideas.
3. Spend time with good thinkers.
Today Matters, Decision #4 FAMILY
4. Decision #4 FAMILY: “Today’s family gives me stability”
Communicate with and care for my family daily.
Some families tear you down instead of building you up. You can’t change your ancestors but you can influence your descendants. Spend time with those who build you up and avoid those who knock you down as much as possible.
1. Your family can be a safe haven in a stormy world.
Theodore Roosevelt said he would rather spend time with his family than any world figure.
2. It also provides a photo album of memories to draw upon the rest of your life.
3. It can be a crucible of character. It molds your character and your children’s character. Help create personal discipline.
4. It is a treasure chest of your most important relationships. Your family relationships are the most important ones in your life. The people closest to you form you and are formed by you. Therefore, value them. If you want to make an impact on the world, start at home. Treat them like treasures.
Mother Teresa: What can we do to promote world peace? “Go home and love your family.”
Nick Stinnent: When you have a strong family life you receive the message that you are loved, cared for and important. The positive intake of love gives you inner resources to deal with life more successfully. Family gives you stability.”
We usually think that divorce won’t happen to us. But if we neglect our marriage it will fall apart. We must constantly work at it.
Rewrite your definition of success: Having those closest to me love and respect me the most.
Get started in building your family:
1. Determine your priorities. Make family a top priority.
2. Decide on your philosophy. Cultivate and maintain your commitment to God. Focus on developing personal potential and growth. Common experiences. Contributions to life, add value to family and others.
Keep it simple, non-negotionas. Communication and problem-solving philosophy.
Disciplines:
1. Put your family on your calendar first.
2. Create boundaries to protect your family time.
3. Create and maintain family traditions.
It is vital to keep your marriage healthy. It sets the tone for the household and provides the primary role model for the children. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
Commitment is what carries you through. If you depend on feelings you won’t make it.
Communicate with and care for my family daily.
Some families tear you down instead of building you up. You can’t change your ancestors but you can influence your descendants. Spend time with those who build you up and avoid those who knock you down as much as possible.
1. Your family can be a safe haven in a stormy world.
Theodore Roosevelt said he would rather spend time with his family than any world figure.
2. It also provides a photo album of memories to draw upon the rest of your life.
3. It can be a crucible of character. It molds your character and your children’s character. Help create personal discipline.
4. It is a treasure chest of your most important relationships. Your family relationships are the most important ones in your life. The people closest to you form you and are formed by you. Therefore, value them. If you want to make an impact on the world, start at home. Treat them like treasures.
Mother Teresa: What can we do to promote world peace? “Go home and love your family.”
Nick Stinnent: When you have a strong family life you receive the message that you are loved, cared for and important. The positive intake of love gives you inner resources to deal with life more successfully. Family gives you stability.”
We usually think that divorce won’t happen to us. But if we neglect our marriage it will fall apart. We must constantly work at it.
Rewrite your definition of success: Having those closest to me love and respect me the most.
Get started in building your family:
1. Determine your priorities. Make family a top priority.
2. Decide on your philosophy. Cultivate and maintain your commitment to God. Focus on developing personal potential and growth. Common experiences. Contributions to life, add value to family and others.
Keep it simple, non-negotionas. Communication and problem-solving philosophy.
Disciplines:
1. Put your family on your calendar first.
2. Create boundaries to protect your family time.
3. Create and maintain family traditions.
It is vital to keep your marriage healthy. It sets the tone for the household and provides the primary role model for the children. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
Commitment is what carries you through. If you depend on feelings you won’t make it.
Today Matters, Decision #3 HEALTH
3. Decision #3 HEALTH: “Today’s health gives us strength”
Know and follow healthy guidelines daily.
Don’t take your health for granted. Many people mistreat their bodies and don’t find out that they are in trouble until it is too late.
Your health impacts you emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
You can’t get away from your body, so if you make unhealthy choices it will affect you the rest of your life.
It is easier to maintain good health to regain it.
Young people are willing to trade their health for wealth, but the elderly would gladly exchange their wealth for health.
If you think you have good health it is easy to become arrogant about it and think that because you feel good that you are healthy.
I will take good care of myself by exercising and eating right.
Helpful guidelines and practical steps:
1. Have a purpose worth living for. A sense of purpose helps you make a decision to change and follow through. Make your craving for life greater than your craving for unhealthy foods.
2. Do work you enjoy. Stress is often caused by jobs you don’t enjoy.
“The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.” Lily Tomlin
If you do work that adds no value to yourself or others, you quickly become demoralized. To remain healthy, your work must be in line with your values.
Others are stressed because they do jobs that keep them in an area of weakness. You can’t do that for long and succeed. When you work in an area of your strengths you are actually energized. Pay attention to how you respond to your failures: Mistakes that challenge you show your areas of strength; mistakes that threaten you show your areas of weakness.
3. Find your pace. Find the pace that is right for you. Go slower than your energy level you will become lazy; go faster than your energy level you will burnout. You need ot find your balance.
4. Accept your personal worth. Your self concept affects every area of your life. If your negative self-image is affecting your health, get help.
5. Laugh. Everyone dies, so learn to enjoy life. Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh at yourself loudly and often.
New discipline: Every day eat low-fat food and exercise at least 30 minutes. Stick with it for the rest of your life. Keep your commitment at 100% and don’t let your program slip,
Know and follow healthy guidelines daily.
Don’t take your health for granted. Many people mistreat their bodies and don’t find out that they are in trouble until it is too late.
Your health impacts you emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
You can’t get away from your body, so if you make unhealthy choices it will affect you the rest of your life.
It is easier to maintain good health to regain it.
Young people are willing to trade their health for wealth, but the elderly would gladly exchange their wealth for health.
If you think you have good health it is easy to become arrogant about it and think that because you feel good that you are healthy.
I will take good care of myself by exercising and eating right.
Helpful guidelines and practical steps:
1. Have a purpose worth living for. A sense of purpose helps you make a decision to change and follow through. Make your craving for life greater than your craving for unhealthy foods.
2. Do work you enjoy. Stress is often caused by jobs you don’t enjoy.
“The problem with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.” Lily Tomlin
If you do work that adds no value to yourself or others, you quickly become demoralized. To remain healthy, your work must be in line with your values.
Others are stressed because they do jobs that keep them in an area of weakness. You can’t do that for long and succeed. When you work in an area of your strengths you are actually energized. Pay attention to how you respond to your failures: Mistakes that challenge you show your areas of strength; mistakes that threaten you show your areas of weakness.
3. Find your pace. Find the pace that is right for you. Go slower than your energy level you will become lazy; go faster than your energy level you will burnout. You need ot find your balance.
4. Accept your personal worth. Your self concept affects every area of your life. If your negative self-image is affecting your health, get help.
5. Laugh. Everyone dies, so learn to enjoy life. Don’t take life too seriously. Laugh at yourself loudly and often.
New discipline: Every day eat low-fat food and exercise at least 30 minutes. Stick with it for the rest of your life. Keep your commitment at 100% and don’t let your program slip,
Today Matters, Decision #2 PRIORITIES
2. Decision #2 PRIORITIES: “Today’s priorities give me focus”
Determine and act on important priorities daily.
Michael LeBoeuf: “Devoting a little of yourself to everything means giving yourself to nothing.”
Focus is a key to success.
Time is your most precious commodity. How you spend your time is much more important than how you spend your money. Your priorities determine how you should spend your time.
The Value of Time: to know the value of _____ ask _____:
1 year: ask student who failed final exam
1 month: mother of premature baby
1 week: editor of a weekly news magazine
1 day: wage earner with six children
1 hour: lovers waiting to meet
1 minute: person who missed the plane
1 second” person who survived the accident
1 millisecond: Olympic silver medalist
We can’t change time, only our priorities.
Myers Barns: “Time management has nothing to do with the clock. But everything to do with organizing and controlling participation in certain events that coordinate with the clock.”
Einstein: Time management is an oxymoron; you cannot manage time
You can’t change time, you must change your approach to it.
You can’t do everything. You must choose. You must know what NOT to do.
Eliminate non-essentials. You can anything you want but you can’t have everything you want.
Pretend you only have six months to live. What would you do? That is what’s important.
Focus to be successful. Run on your own track. Determine YOUR priorities DAILY.
Focus on your strength areas and gift areas. Improve your strengths not weaknesses.
Vilfredo Pareto, the Pareto Principle: “By focusing on the top 20% of all your priorities you will get an 80% return on your effort.”
I will prioritize my life and focus on those priorities that will give me the highest return.
How to change your priorities:
Take back today. Carl Sandburg: “Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You, and you alone, will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you.”
Your greatest possession is the 24 hours that you have ahead of you. How will you spend it? Don’t give in to pressures; focus on priorities. Don’t allow unimportant distractions to determine how you spend your time.
Ask three critical questions:
1) What is required of me? Realistic assessment of what you MUST do to satisfy spouse, employer, family, etc.
2) What gives me the greatest return? Focus on high return activities.
3) What gives me the greatest reward? Need personal satisfaction as well as achievement. Need third, but must take care of first two first.
Suggestions for finding your strengths:
1) Trial and error. If it’s all trial and all error, then move on, but take some chances.
2) Consider the counsel of others who don’t have a personal agenda.
3) Take personality tests.
4) Examine your personal experience. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.
Every day I will live my life according to my priorities:
1) Evaluate priorities daily. Priorities change because conditions and methods change.
2) Plan your time carefully.
3) Follow your plan. Put important tasks first.
4) Delegate whenever possible. If someone can do it 80% as well as I do, then hand it off.
5) Invest in the right people daily. Don’t spend time with everyone equally. Value to team, timing, natural ability, responsibility, potential, mentoring fit.
Determine and act on important priorities daily.
Michael LeBoeuf: “Devoting a little of yourself to everything means giving yourself to nothing.”
Focus is a key to success.
Time is your most precious commodity. How you spend your time is much more important than how you spend your money. Your priorities determine how you should spend your time.
The Value of Time: to know the value of _____ ask _____:
1 year: ask student who failed final exam
1 month: mother of premature baby
1 week: editor of a weekly news magazine
1 day: wage earner with six children
1 hour: lovers waiting to meet
1 minute: person who missed the plane
1 second” person who survived the accident
1 millisecond: Olympic silver medalist
We can’t change time, only our priorities.
Myers Barns: “Time management has nothing to do with the clock. But everything to do with organizing and controlling participation in certain events that coordinate with the clock.”
Einstein: Time management is an oxymoron; you cannot manage time
You can’t change time, you must change your approach to it.
You can’t do everything. You must choose. You must know what NOT to do.
Eliminate non-essentials. You can anything you want but you can’t have everything you want.
Pretend you only have six months to live. What would you do? That is what’s important.
Focus to be successful. Run on your own track. Determine YOUR priorities DAILY.
Focus on your strength areas and gift areas. Improve your strengths not weaknesses.
Vilfredo Pareto, the Pareto Principle: “By focusing on the top 20% of all your priorities you will get an 80% return on your effort.”
I will prioritize my life and focus on those priorities that will give me the highest return.
How to change your priorities:
Take back today. Carl Sandburg: “Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You, and you alone, will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you.”
Your greatest possession is the 24 hours that you have ahead of you. How will you spend it? Don’t give in to pressures; focus on priorities. Don’t allow unimportant distractions to determine how you spend your time.
Ask three critical questions:
1) What is required of me? Realistic assessment of what you MUST do to satisfy spouse, employer, family, etc.
2) What gives me the greatest return? Focus on high return activities.
3) What gives me the greatest reward? Need personal satisfaction as well as achievement. Need third, but must take care of first two first.
Suggestions for finding your strengths:
1) Trial and error. If it’s all trial and all error, then move on, but take some chances.
2) Consider the counsel of others who don’t have a personal agenda.
3) Take personality tests.
4) Examine your personal experience. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.
Every day I will live my life according to my priorities:
1) Evaluate priorities daily. Priorities change because conditions and methods change.
2) Plan your time carefully.
3) Follow your plan. Put important tasks first.
4) Delegate whenever possible. If someone can do it 80% as well as I do, then hand it off.
5) Invest in the right people daily. Don’t spend time with everyone equally. Value to team, timing, natural ability, responsibility, potential, mentoring fit.
Today Matters, Decision #1 ATTITUDE
1. Decision #1 ATTITUDE: “Today’s attitude gives me possibilities”
Choose and display the right attitudes daily.
Sigmund Freud was successful but had a bad attitude, yet he did not enjoy life. Used drugs, saw life as barren of joys. He chose his discontent.
Your attitude at the beginning of a task affects the outcome more than anything else,
Confident person increases his chances for success, while the pessimist decreases his chances for success.
When facing a task you don’t enjoy: Focus on facts not your feelings; Focus on possibilities not problems.
Joe Lewis knocked by Gelento. “You’re suppose to stay down for a full count. What, and give him a chance to rest.”
Secret weapon. It’s contagious.
Two types of people: Polluters and Purifiers. Some make the atmosphere worse while others make it better, no matter how bad it was.
How do people respond to you? Do they leave happy or sad?
“I’m going to keep a positive attitude and influence others
How to develop a great attitude:
1) Take responsibility for your attitude.
Does John make you happy? No. I thought it was his job to make me happy. But nobody can make someone else happy. That’s my job.
2) Decide to change your bad attitude areas.
Lucy: Boy, do I feel crabby. Linus: Watch TV while I make you a sandwich. Anything else I can do to make you feel better? Lucy: I don’t want to feel better.
Many things can’t be changed, but you can change your attitude
3) Think, act, talk, conduct yourself like the person you want to become
See yourself as you can be and act like that person.
Start with your mind. Believe you can become what you want to be.
4) Develop a high appreciation for life
Old lady going into nursing home. Attendant describes her room. I love it. But you haven’t seen it yet. I don’t have to. That has nothing to do with it. Happiness is something you decide upon ahead of time.
John Wooden: “Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.”
How to Manage this decision: Make adjustments every day to keep my attitude right.
1) Realize that your attitude will need to be adjusted every day.
Your attitude will not naturally be positive but will continually go bad.
It will not take care of itself; it needs to be taken care of daily
Start each day with an attitude check
2) Find something positive in everything
“Dear Lord, so far today I have been doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty selfish or self-indulgent. I haven’t whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate. But I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.”
3) Find someone positive in every situation.
Seek out positive people and get around them. Two positive people can handle negative situations much easier than one.
4) Remove negative words from your vocabulary
Pay someone for each time they catch you using negative words
Get rid of these words: Can’t, if only, I don’t think, don’t have time, maybe
Replace them with these words: Can, will, I know, I’ll make time, absolutely
Choose and display the right attitudes daily.
Sigmund Freud was successful but had a bad attitude, yet he did not enjoy life. Used drugs, saw life as barren of joys. He chose his discontent.
Your attitude at the beginning of a task affects the outcome more than anything else,
Confident person increases his chances for success, while the pessimist decreases his chances for success.
When facing a task you don’t enjoy: Focus on facts not your feelings; Focus on possibilities not problems.
Joe Lewis knocked by Gelento. “You’re suppose to stay down for a full count. What, and give him a chance to rest.”
Secret weapon. It’s contagious.
Two types of people: Polluters and Purifiers. Some make the atmosphere worse while others make it better, no matter how bad it was.
How do people respond to you? Do they leave happy or sad?
“I’m going to keep a positive attitude and influence others
How to develop a great attitude:
1) Take responsibility for your attitude.
Does John make you happy? No. I thought it was his job to make me happy. But nobody can make someone else happy. That’s my job.
2) Decide to change your bad attitude areas.
Lucy: Boy, do I feel crabby. Linus: Watch TV while I make you a sandwich. Anything else I can do to make you feel better? Lucy: I don’t want to feel better.
Many things can’t be changed, but you can change your attitude
3) Think, act, talk, conduct yourself like the person you want to become
See yourself as you can be and act like that person.
Start with your mind. Believe you can become what you want to be.
4) Develop a high appreciation for life
Old lady going into nursing home. Attendant describes her room. I love it. But you haven’t seen it yet. I don’t have to. That has nothing to do with it. Happiness is something you decide upon ahead of time.
John Wooden: “Things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.”
How to Manage this decision: Make adjustments every day to keep my attitude right.
1) Realize that your attitude will need to be adjusted every day.
Your attitude will not naturally be positive but will continually go bad.
It will not take care of itself; it needs to be taken care of daily
Start each day with an attitude check
2) Find something positive in everything
“Dear Lord, so far today I have been doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty selfish or self-indulgent. I haven’t whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate. But I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.”
3) Find someone positive in every situation.
Seek out positive people and get around them. Two positive people can handle negative situations much easier than one.
4) Remove negative words from your vocabulary
Pay someone for each time they catch you using negative words
Get rid of these words: Can’t, if only, I don’t think, don’t have time, maybe
Replace them with these words: Can, will, I know, I’ll make time, absolutely
Today Matters
I highly recommend reading John Maxwell's book, Today Matters. He has put some very important truths into simple language that are foundational for a successful life. The following posts will be my outline of his book.
Misconceptions about Success
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)
What does a good day look like? How do you create one?
What you do today impacts what happens tomorrow
1) Impossible: Criticize it
Life is difficult. If you think it should be easy, then you will give up easily when you face difficulty. If it’s not easy we think its impossible
2) Mystical: Search for it
A big mystery. Silver bullet, magic formula, quick fix
You can’t win with a quick fix
3) Luck: Hope for it
Explain away success. 50 million to one you will become successful by luck
4) Productivity: Work for it
Hard work is not success. Need more.
5) Opportunity: Wait for it
Need a break. If only…. Won’t be ready if it does appear.
When opportunity comes it’s too late to prepare
If you aren’t ready even an opportunity wouldn’t change your life much
6) Connections: Network for it
Meet right person. But won’t guarantee success
7) Recognition: Strive for it
Often ends in disillusionment
8) Event: Schedule it
Events are helpful but have limited impact.
Inspiration, motivation, tools and knowledge, but success is a process
Three year strategy, many tools and resources
Success comes when you make decisions and follow through on them
Key: Success is determined by your daily agenda.
You will never change your life until you change something that you do daily.
Every day is preparation for the next. What you become is the result of what you do today.
John Wooden: Make each day your masterpiece. Improve on something each day.
Become a little better each and every day, and over time you will become a lot better.
How? Decisions and Discipline. Two sides of the same coin. One is worthless without the other.
Decision without Discipline: A Plan without a Payoff
Discipline without Decision: Regimentation without reward
Decision with Discipline: Masterpiece of potential
12 Critical Decisions
Do what unsuccessful people don’t like to do.
Two kinds of pain: self-discipline and regret.
Avoiding the pain of self-discipline is easy. But the pain of self-discipline is temporary while the pain of regret is life-long.
Exercise: 30 minutes makes you feel good for 3 hours, and it also helps you in the long run.
Getting started:
1) Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi). Become a model of change. You have to become something if you are to have something to share.
2) Start small. Small successes give you confidence. Prioritize. Don’t have to know all the steps to get started.
3) Get started early. Be proactive. Start early and you will have more options later on. Compounding effect on your life.
Misconceptions about Success
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst)
What does a good day look like? How do you create one?
What you do today impacts what happens tomorrow
1) Impossible: Criticize it
Life is difficult. If you think it should be easy, then you will give up easily when you face difficulty. If it’s not easy we think its impossible
2) Mystical: Search for it
A big mystery. Silver bullet, magic formula, quick fix
You can’t win with a quick fix
3) Luck: Hope for it
Explain away success. 50 million to one you will become successful by luck
4) Productivity: Work for it
Hard work is not success. Need more.
5) Opportunity: Wait for it
Need a break. If only…. Won’t be ready if it does appear.
When opportunity comes it’s too late to prepare
If you aren’t ready even an opportunity wouldn’t change your life much
6) Connections: Network for it
Meet right person. But won’t guarantee success
7) Recognition: Strive for it
Often ends in disillusionment
8) Event: Schedule it
Events are helpful but have limited impact.
Inspiration, motivation, tools and knowledge, but success is a process
Three year strategy, many tools and resources
Success comes when you make decisions and follow through on them
Key: Success is determined by your daily agenda.
You will never change your life until you change something that you do daily.
Every day is preparation for the next. What you become is the result of what you do today.
John Wooden: Make each day your masterpiece. Improve on something each day.
Become a little better each and every day, and over time you will become a lot better.
How? Decisions and Discipline. Two sides of the same coin. One is worthless without the other.
Decision without Discipline: A Plan without a Payoff
Discipline without Decision: Regimentation without reward
Decision with Discipline: Masterpiece of potential
12 Critical Decisions
Do what unsuccessful people don’t like to do.
Two kinds of pain: self-discipline and regret.
Avoiding the pain of self-discipline is easy. But the pain of self-discipline is temporary while the pain of regret is life-long.
Exercise: 30 minutes makes you feel good for 3 hours, and it also helps you in the long run.
Getting started:
1) Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi). Become a model of change. You have to become something if you are to have something to share.
2) Start small. Small successes give you confidence. Prioritize. Don’t have to know all the steps to get started.
3) Get started early. Be proactive. Start early and you will have more options later on. Compounding effect on your life.
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