Thursday, January 25, 2007

Life Lessons 12

The twelfth life lesson is Forgiveness. Forgiveness is more beneficial for the forgiver than for the forgiven. Learn to give up your rights in order to receive what is far more valuable. Forgiveness is to be restored to a place of grace.

Forgiveness is not condoning the hurtful behavior. By forgiving you do not justify the wrong act. But when you refuse to forgive you are only punishing yourself, not the wrongdoer. Forgiveness is not letting people walk all over us. It is realizing that they are bigger than their mistakes.

Getting even may make us feel good for the moment, but it ultimately makes us feel guilty. We want the other person to know our pain, but revenge only makes our pain worse. Refusal to forgive keeps us stuck and makes us a victim. We lose our power when we hold back forgiveness.

Become aware of your anger and let it out constructively. Allow yourself to feel the pain, sorrow, loss, and other negative feelings. Then, let those feelings go. Often what others say or do to hurt you is not about you but about themselves. People think they are doing the right thing; they usually don’t set out to do wrong. No one plans on making a mistake or doing something that will make themselves miserable. Learn to give people the benefit of the doubt and you will find it easier to forgive them. Realize that you often make similar mistakes, and you will find your heart becoming more agreeable to forgiveness.

Revenge is in God's hands not ours. Give the situation to God and trust Him to right any wrongs. Don’t take the management of the universe on your shoulders. Ask God for the grace to forgive. See forgiveness as a Spiritual Maintenance Plan to keep our hearts open and receptive to God’s grace.

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