Life Lessons 8

The eighth life lesson is Anger. We often let old anger build up until it explodes. Anger is helpful if it is processed properly. Anger propels us to action and forces us to clarify boundaries. Anger is a warning system that something is wrong. It is a signal that something is out of sync with our value system.

Anger is only an emotion; we don’t need to be afraid of it. It is a feeling that we must allow ourselves to experience. We need to get in touch with our feelings of anger, not by thinking about them but by feeling them in our bodies. When we allow ourselves to experience anger then we can channel it productively to healthy expressions.

We are not our anger. Anger is not our identity. You must see yourself as separate from your anger. Don’t allow anger to take over your personality.

When anger is internalized instead of expressed properly it slowly destroys us. Internalized anger is manifested as depression and guilt. Anger cannot be suppressed without it affecting us in some negative way. Depression can be dealt with only when the anger is externalized and dealt with.

Anger is merely a manifestation of fear. It is easier for us to express anger than fear, so we often convert fear into anger. When we explode with anger we may make ourselves feel better temporarily, but we usually make the surface problem worse and don’t solve the underlying issues caused by fear.

We must learn healthy ways to externalize our anger or it will destroy us. Anger will come out sooner or later. The more you suppress your anger the more dangerous it is. The key is not in denying anger or suppressing it but in expressing it in constructive ways and then forgetting it.

God is big enough to handle our anger. Often we become angry with God but we don’t know how to express it. However, if we express our anger in reverential ways, God understands. Many of the psalms are expressions of anger and disappointment to God. Use the psalms as a pattern for letting your anger out in proper ways. When we accept our anger and other people’s anger, then we are able to heal each other. Anger is healed only by patient love.